Team Fan Service
by Haiku Kitten
Summary: Team Urameshi is now Team Fan Service! Everyone’s got their own inappropriate Super Hero nickname to boot. What’s all this about?


Title: Team Fan Service

Rating: M … to be on the safe side.

Pairings: Kurama/Hiei, Yusuke/Keiko, Yusuke/Koenma hints, Kuwabara/Yukina

Summary: Team Urameshi is now Team Fan Service! Everyone's got their own inappropriate Super Hero nickname to boot. What's all this about?

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What the reader must first understand is that the author has far too much time on her hands and stays up all night long writing these things for your amusement.

Then, it should be made common knowledge that the job of the Prince of Hell was an incredibly boring one. Of course, Koenma usually entertained himself by sending his favorite bitch, err, spirit detective, Urameshi Yusuke, on ridiculously difficult missions that would surely kill him, but never did. However, lately the pickings had been slim as far as world apocalypses go. Bored out of his wits from the mind numbing job that was 'paperwork', the infant prince devised an excellent way to pass the time.

"As the official owner of Team Urameshi, I have decided to temporarily rename it, for the good of all fan girls," Koenma announced to his spirit detectives, whom he'd called to his cozy little office in Spirit World (complete with an official desk, comfy chair, and large screen TV). "Team Urameshi is now Team Fan Service!"

"And what, pray tell, is your reasoning?" Kurama wanted to know. "I should know better than anyone that Fan Service in this series is insanely hard to come by. You'd think Hiei and I would have gotten at least _one _shower scene. Leorio and Kurapika got one."

"Not a real one," Yusuke argued, shaking his head. "That was more like… a 'Kurapika beating Leorio up for walking around naked' scene."

Koenma leapt up on his desk with a maniacal laugh. "That's exactly it! The lack of Fan Service is something that must be rectified!" He discretely pushed the record button on his TV remote, seeing as how this was something he would want to watch again later. "So, I have decided that it will be Team Fan Service's goal to provide some quality fan service to deprived viewers! In honor of this noble cause, I've assigned titles to all of you."

"He's really lost it this time," Hiei remarked casually from the corner of the room, where he stood in all his brooding glory with his hands on his hips.

"Hush, you," Koenma retorted, narrowing his eyes. "As I was saying! I've decided to use a super hero theme. You each will be given an Inappropriate Super Hero title, until such a time when I grow bored with this. Kurama! You will now be known as Mega Slut!"

Kurama frowned. "I'm not sure how I feel about that title," he remarked.

"Well, if the shoe fits…" Hiei mumbled.

"Hiei, you're next," Koenma continued. "You will be known as Super Virgin!"

Yusuke snickered. "If the shoe fits, indeed."

Hiei's face turned bright red. "Now, you listen here," he objected, hand going to the hilt of his katana. "I'm not interested in playing along with all this nonsense. I have better things to do with my time."

"Super Virgin, if you don't like the title, I'm sure Mega Slut wouldn't mind helping you out," Koenma replied with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. Kurama grinned at Hiei to further prove Koenma's point, effectively shutting the little demon up.

"Ewww…" Kuwabara made a face.

"Ahem! Quit interrupting me! Now, we come to Yusuke." Koenma looked far too pleased with himself. "Yusuke, your title is Sexual Tension Man! A bit of a mouthful, but all things considered, I think it's quite suitable."

"He has a point," Kurama agreed, nodding. "What with you never getting anywhere with Keiko, even by the end of the series. Not to mention all of the stunning bishies that seem to constantly surround you. And, being Koenma's bitch."

"Sexual tension is probably what helped him win the Dark Tournament," Hiei added, eager to get in a few jabs now that his own pride had been officially wounded. "Seeing Kuwabara 'die' probably unlocked it all."

"Eww!!" Kuwabara and Yusuke both exclaimed at the same time.

"That's disgusting!" Yusuke insisted. "Kuwabara's got a mug like a horse! And he's an idiot. And also, I'm _not _Koenma's bitch!"

"Hey! Well, even if I wasn't straight, you're too much of a smart mouthed punk for anyone to like," Kuwabara countered. "Maybe that's why you and Keiko still haven't done the deed."

"Oh yeah?" Yusuke narrowed his eyes at the carrot-top. "Hey, Koenma, what's Kuwabara's super hero name?"

Koenma sighed. "I don't have a name for Kuwabara," he replied honestly. "You see, out of all four of you, he has the healthiest relationship. There wasn't really anything to pick on."

Kuwabara smirked triumphantly while the jaws of his team mates hit the floor. "I think I like this game," he remarked. "What's our first mission?"

END


End file.
